Unfinished Faith: Relearning God.

Week 27:

The bit where I introduce:

Let me ask you a question? Growing up or in your present immediate family now, were you or are you the only one who had/ has a faith, or did you grow up in a family that had beliefs? Let me ask another question… how important to you is it for family to share what you know?

One of the more common dilemmas families can face is when partners, spouses and children don’t share or care to know what you believe in. Dealing with this challenge is a delicate balance.  One between your own spiritual growth and your love for your family. We all most likely know or have interpreted the unequal yolk verses in the bible, I’m not going to reference those, but chose verses in 1 Peter 3:1-2.

How long do we wait? Are my prayers really being answered? Is it really an issue if they don’t believe what I do? Is family more important than faith? Let’s look at another well-known verse.

The bit where I refer to the Bible and ask a few questions:

1 Peter 3:1–2

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

Before anyone gets distracted by the word submission, let’s leave that for another conversation… perhaps another month!

Instead, I’d like us to focus on the heart of the matter of what Peter is saying. Throughout this chapter, Peter calls believers to display Jesus-like character in every relationship, especially when our faith is tested. He uses the example of wives and husbands, but the principle extends far beyond marriage. It speaks into every relationship with people who don’t yet know Jesus.

And that’s where the tension begins.

It’s one thing to love people who think like us. It’s another to continue loving, praying and living faithfully when those closest to us reject what we treasure most. How difficult is it to remain gracious when you’re misunderstood? To respond with gentleness when you’re frustrated? To choose humility when you’d rather prove you’re right or they want to prove they are?

Peter paints a picture of a life marked by harmony, sympathy, compassion, humility and love. He challenges believers not to repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but instead to bless. Those words sound beautiful on paper, but they become incredibly costly when they’re lived out in real families.

Many of us know that tension personally.

I’ve known people who have prayed faithfully for a spouse, child or sibling for decades without seeing them come to faith. I’ve also known others whose loved ones embraced Jesus within weeks. I don’t pretend to understand why God works differently in different lives. What I do know is this: we cannot manufacture faith in someone else. We cannot argue anyone into the kingdom of God.

What we can do is faithfully represent Jesus and what He stands for.

We can love deeply. We can pray consistently. We can walk humbly. We can keep pointing to Jesus, not only with our words but with the way we live.

Later in the chapter (verses 10–12), Peter reminds his readers that the Lord hears the prayers of the righteous, those who seek to honour Him with their lives. Then, in verse 15, he tells believers to “always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” But Peter doesn’t stop there. He adds two words that are easy to overlook yet incredibly powerful: with gentleness and respect.

Perhaps that’s where our witness carries the greatest weight.

Especially with our children.

Every generation faces different pressures. As children grow, friends, culture and the desire to belong often compete with the values we’ve tried to teach them. It can be tempting to push harder, argue more, or desperately try to convince them with words alone.

  I would add also, I think there still exists a stigma in the church, not just westernised churches either when your children or other family members don’t attend? Yet, Peter gently reminds us that a consistent, Christ-like life often speaks more loudly than persuasive arguments, whether they turn up to church or not.

With transparency, I would like to share our road in this.  My daughter now 18 gave a testimony at school and youth about feeling the pressure because she wasn’t going to church and we were, regularly. She felt like she had let us down.  Now, ironically, she goes to church and we don’t. Go figure!

We have explained the reasons, but I do wonder sometimes if she feels slightly cheated perhaps in a strange way?

I remember though, its our daily lives that become our testimony. I do want to however acknowedge this…

There is a unique kind of grief that comes when those we love most don’t share the hope we have in Christ. It’s not just about differing opinions,it can feel like carrying a quiet ache in your heart. Perhaps it’s a child who no longer attends church, a spouse who has no interest in faith, a sibling who dismisses conversations, or grandchildren growing up in a culture that sees Christianity as irrelevant. We celebrate birthdays, gather around dinner tables and share life’s milestones, yet beneath the laughter can be an unspoken sadness and longing. Peter doesn’t minimise that tension, nor does he tell us to argue harder or force the conversation. Instead, he gently redirects us toward a life of consistent love, humility and faithful prayer. While we cannot change another person’s heart, we can trust the One who knows them better than we ever will. Our role is not to carry the weight of their salvation, but to faithfully reflect what Jesus means to us in an authentic way and using His perfect example.

That doesn’t mean we always stay silent about our faith if we feel like we can be open with them. It means our words are supported by a life that we live if that is important for you, live a life that reflects Jesus day after day, decision after decision in patience, humility and love. Sometimes the greatest example our family will ever see is not the one we say with words, but the one we quietly live.

The tension remains. We pray, we wait, we hope, and sometimes we grieve. But we don’t lose heart. God asks us to be faithful, while He remains responsible for changing hearts. Knowing this also, we are not a failure, neither are we condemned if we don’t see our loved ones believe earthside.

The bit where you get to think about stuff: Questions for the week.

When those closest to me don’t share my faith or values, what do they experience most from me, pressure to change, or the peace, humility and love of Jesus?

 Where is God asking me to trust Him with someone’s heart instead of trying to change them through my own words or efforts?

 If my family could only observe my life and not hear my words, what would they conclude about