Unfinished Faith: Relearning God.

Week 15:

The bit where I introduce: 

If you have been at church for many years or just started, the word community is something associated with it and you will hear it when you go. We use the language easily: “family, belonging, doing life together.”

And yet… at times I’ve heard friends and family say it is possible to sit in a church, exchange smiles, serve on a team or attend regularly and still feel unknown. There’s a quiet gap I think that can exist between being part of a community and actually experiencing connection. And if I’m being honest, I’d hazard a guess many of us have stood right in that space.

You can know names, but not stories.

You can share prayer requests, but not your real struggles.

You can be surrounded and still not feel connected.

The bit where I refer to the bible: and ask a few rhetorical questions:

“Acts 2:42.46 says: they devoted themselves…to fellowship…they broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.”

Acts 2, describes for us the birth of the Church, where the Holy Spirit descending upon disciples in Jerusalem during Pentecost, ten days after Jesus’ ascension and fifty days after Passover.  Pretty amazing.

In my reflections and research, I can see that even in the bible, proximity doesn’t always equal connection. People followed Jesus, the crowds, listened to Him teach, saw the amazing miracles but I’d argue many never truly knew Him. To go a step further there were moments when those closest to Him misunderstood Him or even went MIA in his hardest hour.

Community was present, but deep connection? That was something else.

Recently I’ve found myself sitting with this tension on a personal level. We’ve made the decision for now to step away from attending a mainstream church. I will emphasise not out of hurt or cynicism, and not as a statement against it but from a quiet persistent question in me: Am I going through the motions, or am I actually connected?

There’s a part of me that wonders if over the years, I’ve mistaken structure for depth… if I’ve learned how to participate without truly being authentically connected because I’ve been in church for most of my life. So, I find myself curious about what authentic community might look like if it wasn’t built around routine, but around shared life. Not polished, performative, just honest.

My sense now is that Jesus is not absent in my questioning, but present in it. This isn’t about dismissing church at all, it’s me being honest about the gap that can sometimes exist within it and allowing that awareness to lead to deeper seeking.

My reflections and wonderings also led me to think that in the early church there wasn’t just gatherings, but people who were intertwined in each other’s lives. (Francis Chan’s: Letters to the Church highlights this if you are interested in this topic.)

The verse I referred to shows I think, sincere hearts, not curated ones. I wonder what would that feel like for them? What did it cost them to live that deeply? Is that where the church is heading today?

Real connection requires risk, beyond the surface levels, to let ourselves be seen without the “polished version.” But that’s the uncomfortable bit, isn’t it?

 (Cue scary music) The V word… Vulnerability!

At its core, this kind of connection reflects I think the authentic heart of Jesus. He didn’t just gather people, He knew them, He asked questions, He noticed the overlooked, He stayed present in people’s pain without rushing them through it or needing them to belong or act a certain way.

So, I stay open, I don’t have it figured all out as you can see. I remain committed to staying open, to resist settling for surface-level connection whether inside a church building or outside of it. I want to be willing to both seek and be the kind of presence that fosters something real because for me the goal was never just to attend…but to be part of a people where we are truly seen no matter what walks of life we come from.

The bit where you get to think about stuff: Questions for the week.

Do you sense a gap between community and real connection in your own life?

What might authentic, sincere community look like for you right now in church?

How can you remain open to connection without drifting into cynicism?