Unfinished Faith: Relearning God.

WEEK 6:  Attachment wounds and how we imagine God.

The bit where I introduce:  

Most of us have come into our faith with wounds, shaped by relationships, circumstances and free will. Relationship is where it’s at when it comes to our faith in Jesus as we are learning, but for some of you, you’ve had relationships scarred by conditional love, love that’s been withheld or love that has hurt, so how then does that shape our image of an all loving God when human relationships have been hurtful, you’ve been unsafe and you’ve not had that experience of pure love and acceptance?

 What does it take to believe in a God who offers that so freely? Is it really worth it? Is it really possible?

The bit where I refer to the bible: and ask a few rhetorical questions:

Hebrews 13 has in it a verse – verse 5 that says “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

We will get back to that… Hebrews 13 is a chapter basically giving us some instructions for life and who doesn’t need some reminders now and again right?

I’d say there’s some solid advice there, honouring marriage, love others deeply, be content with what you have. I’d encourage you to read the chapter before 13 and after too.

But verse 5 in chapter 13 stands out, because it’s a verse that speaks to our insecurities and addresses our inner most fears. Let me explain… If you’ve been hurt by someone or rejected in a relationship, then we feel that love seems inconsistent, unsafe or earned. It’s easy to then see Jesus in similar ways. Have you had times where He felt distant, unpredictable or even disappointing? When life is good, God can feel near but when life feels like a never ending struggle then God might seem far away.  The point here is “Guess who moved?”, not God.

Having these doubts doesn’t mean your faith is weak, it reminds us we are human! In counselling there’s a concept around attachment and how we form early bonds as a child, which can be healthy or not. When we have attachment wounds- when attachment hasn’t been healthy it shapes us and our future relationships. It can teach us to hone our survival skills, to manage ourselves and our relationships carefully to expect people will leave us. So when we make a decision to follow Jesus and your faith now is a component of what you believe we can sometimes turn God into someone we need to impress, fear or keep at a safe distance… just in case He leaves.

This verse about never leaving or forsaking us (means to quit or leave entirely, desert or abandon) tells us God’s never going to do that, in fact it’s a promise.

Yes you say, but why have I felt like He has at times? Perhaps we need to look at not forcing ourselves to believe differently, but to notice where that fear has shaped our lives and image of who God is. To challenge your thoughts that God can be more steady, more present and more patient than we learned to expect from others.

Be patient with yourself as you wrestle with that. Give yourself time to let God show you that promise in action. Fear can be persuasive, but God can be pretty convincing.

Maybe, moving forward this week we let our faith be something we NOT hold together, but as something that holds us. Can we relearn what we believe with our fears? Would you be willing to let Him prove through experiences that He is safe and will never abandon you?

The bit where you get to think about stuff: Questions for the week.

When I think about God, what feels familiar, closeness or distance right now?

What part of this do I find comforting? What part finds it hard to trust?

Where in my life might my experiences of human love shaped how I imagine God?